Cat Burns and the importance of autistic representation
"Am I hiding it well?
I wonder if they can tell
That I'm not like them but I'm trying
To be human."
In a week where Anthony Hopkins decided to promote his new book by throwing his fellow neurodivergent people under the boss with sneering mockery, it's worth remembering how important representation can be.
It's lonely being different, and trying to be 'human', like everyone else. So seeing someone like you on TV or hearing them sing songs that you relate to makes a big difference.
The lyrics above are from the title track of the wonderful new album by Cat Burns. You could easily read the lyrics as being the tale of a Traitor from Celebrity Traitors, but as she's AuDHD like me, she spends a lot of time trying to hide it well, trying to be human. So this song means a lot to me.
After all I showed up to this album signing on Friday evening wearing a Charlie Brown shirt over an Eraserhead t-shirt. That's how normal I am.
The album is genuinely one of my favourites of the year, so raw, tender and emotional as she deals with both a break-up and the loss of her grandfather. But there's so much empathy and hope in there. And, yes, humanity.
Both through her music, what she says in interviews and how she conducted herself and represented people like me in Celebrity Traitors, Cat Burns is fast becoming one of my favourite people.
When Stephen Fry confronted her at the round table about her afternoon naps, suggesting they might be Traitor behaviour, Cat calmly insisted that it wasn't evidence of late nights in the Turret, saying:
“Just to explain. I do have autism and ADHD, so when I'm around people a lot it takes a lot more effort to really speak. Sometimes I need time away.”
It was so simple. Of course, she WAS a Traitor so had to say something to take the heat off herself, but she advocated for her needs so calmly, with no sense of shame. And that's incredibly powerful.
Ultimately she paid the price for being quiet at roundtables, something many autistic people would relate to. She tried to defend herself by saying how difficult she found it to know when to speak up and that's me at most work meetings involving more than two or three people.
And while I've never been called a Traitor, I've definitely paid the price for it over the years in various jobs, looking like I don't care or don't want to contribute.
That only changed whenI started a job where even before my diagnosis, my managers were sensitive to my needs and allowed me to contribute in a way that suited my personality - effectively giving me a workplace adjustment for my neurodivergence even before any of us knew I was neurodivergent.
And seeing this talked about on the biggest reality TV show of the year is huge. We need more people like Cat Burns and less people like Anthony Hopkins punching down.
